Journey with me. Close your eyes. Okay, not really- but I want you to take a deep breath and go way back. Sift through your memory as far back as it can go until you reach the first memories you have of dogs (or other pets who were meaningful to you). It may take a few minutes for this to surface, so know that there is no rush. Take those few flashes of things that came up and start to unpack them. Consider writing them on a piece of paper. They might be memories such as getting a golden retriever puppy for Christmas, all the way to seeing a male role model in your life swat the dog harshly with a newspaper. Pay attention to the feelings that surface for you as you turn over some of these dusty and distant memories.
It's important to understand what factors have influenced your dog "parenting style," the reasons you have dogs, the reasons you have your unique perspective about dog care and training, etc. In order to understand who you are as a "dog person" you must take a look at your early role models, key dog or animal related events, your family's history of pet ownership while you were a child, etc. While you can think about this topic casually, of course, I think writing things down is always really powerful. If you are a nerd like me who loves to deep dive, get out your journal and ponder some or all of the following questions:
Who is the first dog you remember meeting? Was this a joyful meeting or a scary one? Has this dog affected your relationship with dogs overall?
How many animals did your family tend to have at one time growing up? Did you see this at the time as a good thing or bad thing? Has your attitude changed?
What kind of animals did your family tend to have growing up? Were there any animals that were off limits for your family? If so, which ones?
When you were a child, did you feel like your parents took good care of the animals? Is there anything you would have changed as a child? What about as an adult?
In your childhood, how did the adults around you discipline the dog? How did this style of discipline (or lack thereof) feel to you?
Talk about the first time you dealt with the death of a dog or other pet you were close to. How do you feel when you think about that now? Is there anything you would change about the experience? How did the adults in your life deal with this loss?
Who from your childhood stood out to you as a great dog or pet owner? What makes them stand out?
We often find ourselves performing the same coping or problem solving strategies we saw adults model for us as children. Do you find yourself "parenting" your dog(s) the same way your mother or father parented you or your pets? In your opinion, is this a good thing or bad thing?
Talk about a dog related event (not counting a pet's death) you witnessed or were involved with as a child that upset you. How has this influenced the way you deal with or feel about dogs now? What about a happy dog related event?
Think about the general attitudes about dogs and other pets that society held when you were growing up. What has changed since then? Are those changes good or bad? If there was a change you'd like to see for the next generation of people, what would it be?
Are your tastes for dog breeds the same or different now compared to when you were a child?
Growing up, what kinds of activities was your family dog involved in?
Growing up, what kind of training was promoted? Was there a TV trainer that influenced you? When internet and YouTube trainers came into being, who were you watching? Has the media you consume about dogs changed over time?
I'll bet you have never thought about some of these things before! It can feel a little weird to start thinking this deeply about your dog but I think it is a process worth going through. Often, the answers to these questions start coming out naturally in my training with clients as we start to address the dogs problems- which often boil down to their human's environment, routine, emotional capacity, time capacity, financial allowances, and more. If you open your mind and allow it to happen, the journey of dog ownership can be one of the most impactful growth opportunities of your entire lifetime. I hope this reflection exercise gave as much value to you as it did to me! Stay tuned for more exercises and deep dives I'll have for you during the 2025 Take 15 Challenge.
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